Mom,
I am grateful for all of the times that you have helped me throughout my life. And I always will be. But I have entered a new phase of my life. While I know you do not agree with my choices, they are my choices. I have made them. And I will continue to live by them.
Some of them are that I moved from Des Moines, this choice was 100% to start a new life. Within six months of me moving, I started using a different name. I went with ***Redacted***. I did this so that when I changed my name later it would be easier for some people make the adjustment. I guess this didn’t work. I do understand that it is hard to change habit. I do. But I am not ***Redacted***, I am Ashley.
When I started using ***Redacted***, I also started hormones. I know that you hate this, as you have stated. This was not a choice that I made lightly. I knew for many years that I should have been a woman. I knew it longer than I have lived in Iowa. I had dresses even when I was living in New York. This was not an instant choice that I made. You should know that I don’t generally make snap decisions. This was something that I wanted to do from the time that I was 15. You even said that you and dad thought that this might be an eventuality. Well guess what it happened.
I had really hoped that I would never have to have this conversation. I should never have to tell someone that I cared about that I am tired of being called by the wrong name. I have been patient with this. I tried to let this go for as long as I could, but now I cannot do this any longer.
I get that you do not understand the things that I am doing. But that is for me. You don’t need to understand what I am doing, that’s for me to understand. You just need to know that I am working to better myself and to be who I should have been for a long time. I have been so much happier over the last three years than I have been for the most of my life. Yes, I have struggles. Everyone does. The way that I handle them needs work, but that also is for me to deal with.
I get that to you, I will never be your daughter. I am ok with that. But I am not your “youngest son” either. The times that you refer to me as your youngest child, are some of the most elating statements that I get from you. Even then, I have to stop and make sure that I heard it correctly. I don’t need to be your daughter, but it would be nice. All I want, is to be accepted and loved for who I am.
So going forward, I will not respond, react, or in any other way acknowledge any question, comment, concern, witty comment or statement that is addressed to any name other than mine. I am Ashley.
Some life changes are hard. Some are easy but they are made more difficult than they need to be, my name has been one of those. I don’t care what the older relatives in the family think. And in this case, I am the only one that matters when it comes to what they think.
So, to summarize,
- My name is Ashley.
- I am undergoing gender transition
- I will not endure the wrong name.
- These are my choices. I will not give on them.
Sincerely,
Krashley
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